Clue
by SeaSkyWindOcean
Summary: What happens when you put six strangers and a butler together with a killer? A funny story.
1. Arrival At Hill House

Clue

Sailor Moon copyright Naoko Takauchi, Clue copyright Paramount Pictures.

Cast:

The Butler: Tenoh Haruka

The Cook: Kino Makoto

The Maid: Aino Minako

Mr. Boddy: Chiba Mamoru

Miss. Scarlet: Kaioh Michiru

Mrs. White: Tsukino Usagi

Professor Plum: Mizuno Ami

Colonel Mustard: Yaten Light

Mrs. Green: Hino Rei

Mrs. Peacock: Meioh Setsuna

The Motorist: Taiki Light

The Cop: Seiya Light

Singing Telegram Girl: Chibi-Usa

Osaka, Japan 1954, on a lone deserted road a car drives slowly on the winding road of the Japanese country side. A storm starting to brew as the car reaches its destination at the gate of a large imposing house known as Hill House. A tuxedo clad arm reaches from the car window, putting a key into the gate's lock and turning it. The gate slowly creaks open upon command, the car driving through it slowly.

Once the car came to a stop at the front of the house the door opened. The driver's foot hit the ground as she rose out of the car. She was a tall with short, sandy blonde hair. Very handsome and manly for her gender. She wore a black tuxedo with tails hanging from the back of her jacket. Her hand reached around, closing the door to her car and she made her way to the two large front doors of the old mansion. Upon stepping onto the large porch two fierce dogs sprang towards the woman.

She quickly threw her jacket at the two dogs to distract them from devouring her. Reaching into a brown bag she was carrying she pulled out two rare beef bones and tossed them at the dogs. The canines released her jacket and went after the meat instead. Once the dogs were eating the meat the woman made her way to the wall where the dogs chains were hooked up at and made sure that she shortened them enough so that they couldn't reach the door.

When she was sure that they wouldn't be able to reach the door she began to head inside but stopped suddenly. Standing there for a moment she finally looked at the bottom of her shoe. She looked back at the dogs in disgust then headed for the front door. The front door opened and the woman made sure to wipe off her foot before stepping over the threshold of the mansion. Hill House was incredibly old fashioned. The Hall of Hill House was remarkable, elegant but not gaudy.

Furnished in dark wood, and brass, with crystal chandeliers. Several doors on each side of the hall and three at the end. To the left: The lounge and dining room. To the right: The study, library, and billiard room and at the end: the conservatory, ball room, bathroom, and kitchen. The stairs located to the right. By the staircase was the door to the basement steps.

The woman steps into the hall, turning to the closet to hang her coat. Once her coat was hanging in the closet she briskly made her way across the hall to the library. The library was a somewhat more comfortable room than the hall, composed of dark colors. All of the walls were covered with books, with the exception of one wall, a window.

Standing in the library was a rather jiggly hyper maid with long golden hair that reached her knees and a bright red bow on top of her head was polishing a fine champagne glass.

The door to the library opened quietly the blonde's head poking in.

"Is everything ready?" she asked in a deep, husky voice.

The maid turned around quickly and was rather startled by the intrusion.

"Oui, monsieur." she said slightly shocked.

The blonde nodded and spoke again.

"You have your…instructions?"

The young maid nodded at the question then returned to polishing the glass. With that the blonde woman retracted her head from the door and shut it. She then quickly made her way over to the kitchen to check on how dinner was coming. The kitchen was white tiled and narrow, a meat freezer to the right, the counter leading off to the left. A rather tall woman with long brown hair out up in a pony tail was standing at the counter sharpening a knife. The blonde woman walked behind the cook.

"Is everything alright Mrs. Kino?" she asked politely before being stopped in her tracks by the woman turning around, knife in hand.

"Dinner will be ready at seven thirty." the cook replied.

The blonde swallowed hard at the sight of the knife right in front of her nose. The atmosphere was growing thicker second by second but was the looming feeling of death was lifted from the blonde's shoulders when the doorbell rang. She turned and quickly left the kitchen to answer the door. Briskly making her way across the hall she reached the door and opened it. There stood a man with long white hair and shining green eyes.

He looked towards the woman who had just opened the door.

"Good evening." she greeted him with a smile.

"Good evening I don't know if--" he began but was interrupted by the blonde.

"Yes, indeed, sir, you are expected, Colonel. May I take you coat? It is Colonel Mustard isn't it?" asked the woman as she began taking off Colonel Mustard's coat.

"Ah, no, that's not my real name, my real name is Colonel--"

"Pardon me sir, but tonight you may well feel obliged to my employer for the use of an alias." explained the blonde as she shut the door and began hanging Colonel Mustard's jacket into the closet with her own.

Colonel Mustard sniffs the air lightly as the blonde was hanging up his jacket and checked his both his shoes before she looked back. Once she was finished hanging up his jacket the pair made their way across the hall towards the library.

"And who are you sir?" asked the colonel.

"I'm Haruka sir, the butler." replied the blonde.

With their introductions complete Haruka opened the door to the library revealing the maid pouring champagne. Colonel Mustard stepped into the library and Haruka introduced the two to each other.

"Minako, will you attend to the Colonel and get him anything her requires." The blonde looked back and forth between Mustard and Minako before speaking again.

"Within reason that is." she said mockingly as she closed the door.

The doors had books on the back of them, and so look like a part of the wall.

"Oh Haruka I was--" Colonel Mustard began but stopped when he turned to see the door had disappeared.

Once again the doorbell rang, this time it was a woman. Haruka opened the door and instantly smiled lightly.

"Do come in madam, you are expected." Haruka said in a soft tone.

The woman looked at Haruka with interest.

"Do you know who I am?" she asked the blonde.

Haruka stepped to the side allowing the shorter woman to step in to the mansion.

"Only that you are to be known, as Mrs. White." Haruka answered.

"Yes. It said so in the letter. . .but why?" questioned the woman as Haruka helped her take off her jacket. The woman was clad in black and wore a hat with a veil over her eyes as if she had just come from a funeral. While Haruka was hanging up her jacket the woman sniffed the air and checked her shoes before looking back to the tall blonde.

Haruka escorted the woman to the library and opened the door, hitting Colonel Mustard with it in the process. The two walked into the library.

"Ah may I introduce you? Mrs. White this is Minako, the maid." Haruka commented.

The two women looked at each other in disgust which made Haruka curious.

"I see you know each other."

Mrs. White turned away just as Colonel Mustard emerged from behind the door. The two looked at each other for a brief second.

"Hello." said Colonel Mustard.

"Hello." replied Mrs. White who seemed to have no interested in him the least little bit.

Elsewhere, out on the dark deserted road near Hill House, a slim woman with shoulder length wavy aqua hair wearing a beautiful teal evening gown stood next to her broken down car. She had been standing there for fifteen minutes and finally hit the side of her car in frustration. Thunder rumbled through the night sky and only added to the woman's frustration.

Then, off in the distance she saw a pair of car headlights coming towards her. She smoothed out her dress and leaned down under the hood of her car. The oncoming car drove past her slowly then came to a sudden stop. The car backed up next to her and a female voice asked a polite question.

"Do you need a ride Miss?"

The aqua haired woman spun around to the car and smiled.

"Yes please."

She got into the car to see a smaller woman behind the wheel. She wore glasses and had dark blue hair. Once she was in the car they were on there way. The aqua haired woman looked to the driver.

"Thanks, I'm late for a dinner date." she said.

"Me too. Where are you going?" asked the blue haired woman.

The aqua haired woman pulled out a piece of paper from her purse and gave it a quick look through.

"Lets see…Hill House. Off Route 41." she replied.

"Wait a minute, let me see that." The woman said and grabbed the paper form her passenger.

"That's where I'm going, I got a letter like this." she said half afraid.

The two looked at each other and were disturbed by the coincidence.

Back at Hill House another guest had arrived. A middle aged woman with long dark green hair clad in old fashioned western kind of clothing. Her and Haruka stood in the doorway to the library and Haruka introduced her to the others.

"And this is Mrs. Peacock."

"How do you do?" asked Colonel Mustard.

"Hello." Mrs. White said politely who had taken her hat off and revealed her long blonde hair that was up in odangos.

Mrs. Peacock nodded in acknowledgement to the two of them. Haruka turned to Minako.

"Minako, will you go and check that dinner will be ready as soon as all the guests have arrived?" she asked.

Minako nodded and walked out of the library but not before Mrs. Peacock could look at her exposed cleavage disapprovingly. Yet again the doorbell rings. Haruka quickly made her way to the door and opened it. It had begun raining heavily since Mrs. Peacock had shown up.

"Is this the right address to meet Mr. Boddy?" asked a woman wearing glasses with long black hair wearing a long brown coat.

"Oh, you must be Mrs. Green." comment the blonde.

"Yes…" answered Mrs. Green.

Haruka looked to the two dogs who were growling at Mrs. Green.

"SIT!"

Mrs. Green frantically sat down on the near by bench. Haruka chuckled lightly.

"No, not you madam."

Mrs. Green smiles lightly and steps sheepishly into the mansion. Back with the two strangers in the car they slowly made their way towards their destination.

"It should be just off her." the aqua haired woman informed the driver.

They pulled up to the front gate of the house and they blue haired woman stopped the car.

"That must be it." said the blue haired woman.

Lightning struck through the air allowing the two to catch a quick peek of the mansion. The two just sat there looking at the house, their mouths hanging open in fear.

"Whys the car stopped?" asked the aqua haired woman.

"Its frightened." replied the blue haired woman.

Back in the mansion Haruka had introduced Mrs. Green to the rest of the guests. Everyone was standing in the library drinking when lightning crashed outside the window causing Mrs. Green to gulp lightly. The two women outside get out of the car and crush together under a small umbrella and dash for the front door. Once under the dry archway of the porch the blue haired woman closes her umbrella.

"What a god forsaken place." she commented.

The aqua hair woman nodded in agreement. The door opened suddenly behind them to reveal Haruka. The blonde's eyes went straight for the curves that the aqua haired woman was sporting under her evening gown.

"Professor Plum! And Miss. Scarlet I didn't know you were acquainted." Haruka said surprised.

The two women turned to the blonde. The aqua haired woman smirked slightly at Haruka.

"We weren't." she said smugly.

Haruka let them into the house and led them into the library.

"Everyone, may I present Professor Plum and Miss. Scarlet." said Haruka.

Everyone in the room nodded in acknowledgement. Minako walked to the two new guests and gave them drinks.

Haruka cleared her throat and spoke,

"Of course, since you've each been addressed by a pseudonym, you'll have realized that nobody here is being addressed by their real name."

All the guests looked around suspiciously. Out in the hall Mrs. Kino banged fiercely on a gong to let everyone know that dinner was ready to be served. The sound of the gong startled Mrs. Green causing her to spill her drink all over Mrs. Peacock. Haruka smiles.

"Ah, dinner." she said calmly as she turned to led everyone to the dining room.

Mrs. Green pulls out a handkerchief from her suit pocket and started patting down Mrs. Peacock.

"I'm sorry…I'm a little accident prone." said Mrs. Green.

The guests then followed Haruka across the hall and into the dining room. The dining room was elegant, in similar decor to the Hall, but somewhat more comfortable. However, the room was still small. At one end a door and a metal partition, both leading to the kitchen.

Haruka walked to the door leading to the kitchen.


	2. Dinner and Blackmail

"You'll find your names beside your places. Please be seated."

All the guests find their places except Colonel Mustard. Haruka set down Miss. Scarlet's drink on the table much to her pleasure. Colonel Mustard looked to the head chair then began asking Haruka questions.

"Is this place for you?"

"Oh indeed no sir, I'm merely a humble butler." Haruka answered.

"And what exactly do you do?"

"I buttle sir."

"Which means what?"

"The butler is head of the kitchen and dining room. I keep everything…tidy. That's all"

Colonel Mustard attempted to ask Haruka more questions but was interrupted by Mrs. Peacock.

"Well, what's this all about, butler, this dinner party?" she questioned happily.

"Ours is not to reason why…Ours is but to do and die" said Haruka.

"Die?" repeated Professor Plum with a voice of uncertainty.

Haruka smiled lightly at Professor Plum reaction.

"Merely quoting, madam, from Alfred Lord Tennyson." Haruka reassured her.

Colonel Mustard finally seated himself next to Miss. Scarlet and decided he wanted to be part of the conversation.

"Hm. I prefer Kipling, myself. "The female of the species is more deadly than the male"." he quoted before looking to Miss. Scarlet and passing her a tray of appetizers.

"You like Kipling Miss. Scarlet?"

"Sure I'll eat anything." she answered while taking a piece of food from the tray and putting it into her mouth.

Minako came through the door from the kitchen carrying a tray. She stopped first at Mrs. Peacock, placing a plate in front of her.

"Shark Fin Soup, madam."

Colonel Mustard, yet again wanting some answers pointed to the head chair.

"So is this for our host?" he asked.

Haruka replied calmly,

"No sir. For the seventh guest Mr. Boddy."

Mrs. White looked up to Haruka.

"I thought Mr. Boddy was out host." she commented in confusion.

The other guests began asking the same question. As Haruka began pouring Mrs. White a drink she asked another question.

"So who is our host Mr. Haruka?"

Haruka chuckled with a closed smile then walked to the other guests pouring them drinks as well. Professor Plum unfolded her napkin and set it on her lap.

"Well, I want to start while its still hot." she said.

"Oh, now shouldn't we wait for the other guest?" Mrs. Peacock asked.

"I will keep somesing warm for em." said Minako as she set Miss. Scarlet's food down in front of her. The young blonde's cleavage right in the aqua haired woman's face.

"What did you have in mind dear?" questioned Miss. Scarlet slyly.

With that said everything got quite. The guests eyed their meal cautiously when Professor Plum decided to try it first. Bringing the spoon to her lips she slurped the soup down the looked to Mrs. White who was looking at her with a disapproving look on her face, but she too slurped the soup. Everyone except Mrs. Peacock sat there staring at them, their spoons half ways to their mouths. As the slurping continued Mrs. Peacock became a little uncomfortable with the awkward silence and began to speak breathlessly,

"Well, someone's got to break the ice, and it might as well be me. I mean, I'm used to being a hostess; it's part of my husband's work, and it's always difficult when a group of new friends meet together for the first time to get acquainted, so I'm perfectly prepared to start the ball rolling…I mean, I have absolutely no idea what we're doing here, or what I'm doing here, or what this place is about, but I am determined to enjoy myself and I'm very intrigued and oh, my, this soup's delicious isn't it?"

Everyone just sat there staring at her in bewilderment. Mrs. White decided that she would now break the silence.

"You say you are used to being a hostess as part of your husbands work?"

"Yes it's an integral part of your life when you are the wife of a…oh, but then I forgot we're not supposed to say who we really are, though heavens to Betsy, I don't know why." rambled Mrs. Peacock.

"Don't you?" scoffed Colonel Mustard.

"I know who you are." said Mrs. Green with a slight smile on her face.

"Aren't you going to tell us?" Miss. Scarlet asked Mrs. Green with interest.

Mrs. Peacock removed her glasses nervously.

"How do you know who I am?" her voice showing how anxious she was.

"I work in Tokyo too." answered Mrs. Green slyly.

Professor Plum looked to Mrs. Peacock.

"Oh, so you're a politician's wife." she said.

"Yes I-I am." stuttered Mrs. Peacock as she put her cat glasses back on.

"Well come on then who's your husband?" Colonel Mustard asked with intrigue.

Right at that moment Haruka came through the kitchen door into the room. Everything was silent once again for a few moments. When Mrs. Peacock, yet again, broke it by speaking to Mrs. White.

"So what does your husband do--"

"Nothing." Mrs. White answered firmly.

"Nothing?" repeated Mrs. Peacock in confusion.

"Well, he…just…lies around on his back all day." she answered more calmly.

"Sounds like hard work to me." said Miss. Scarlet jokingly.

Minako, in the kitchen, opened the partition suddenly. The noise coincided with a crash of thunder. Mrs. Green, jumpy as ever, placed her hand quickly onto the table, hitting her spoon causing it to fly out of the bowl and spill soup all over Miss. Scarlet.

"I'm…sorry. I'm afraid I'm a little accident-prone." she said as she began to pat down Miss. Scarlet with her napkin, accidentally going down a little to far.

"Ah--watch it." said Miss. Scarlet sternly.

Mrs. Green stopped immediately as Minako began serving the main meal. Mrs. Peacock took one taste then turned to Haruka who was walking away with the bowls.

"Mmm! this is one of my favorite recipes!" she pointed out happily.

"I know madam." commented Haruka.

Once Haruka had gone back into the kitchen, the dead conversation was once again underway.

"So, what do you in Tokyo Mrs. Green?" asked Mrs. Peacock.

She got no answer.

"Come on, what do you do? I mean, how are we to get acquainted if we don't say anything about ourselves?"

"Perhaps she doesn't want to get acquainted with you!" said Miss. Scarlet angrily, obviously getting annoyed with Mrs. Peacock's constant talking.

"Well, I'm sure I don't know, but if I wasn't trying to keep the conversation going, then we would just be sitting here in an embarrassed silence." countered Mrs. Peacock.

"Are you afraid of silence Mrs. Peacock?" ask Professor Plum.

"Yes! What? No! Why?" Mrs. Peacock said defensively.

"Oh, it just seems to me that you seem to suffer from what we call pressure of speech." explained Professor Plum.

"We"? Who's "we"? Are you a shrink?" asked Miss. Scarlet.

"I do know a little bit about psychological medicine, yes." replied Professor Plum.

"Are you a doctor?" asked Mrs. White.

"I am, but I don't practice." answered Professor Plum.

"Practice makes perfect. Ha. I think most men need a little practice, don't you, Mrs. Peacock?" said Miss. Scarlet.

Mrs. Peacock shrugged, very uncomfortably.

"So what do you do, Professor?" asked Mrs. White.

"I work for UNO, the United Nations Organization." said Professor Plum proudly.

"Another politician. Jesus!" laughed Colonel Mustard.

"No, I work for a branch of UNO. W.H.O., the World Health Organization." explained Professor Plum.

"Well, what is your area of special concern?" asked Mrs. Peacock.

"Family planning." answered Professor Plum.

"What about you, Colonel? Are you a real colonel?" Professor Plum asked Colonel Mustard.

"I am, madam." Colonel Mustard answered in a serious tone.

"You're not going to mention the coincidence that you also live in Tokyo?" asked Miss. Scarlet quietly.

"How did you know that? Have we met before?" Colonel Mustard asked in a scared kind of way.

"I've certainly seen you before. Although you may not have seen me." answered Miss. Scarlet.

"So, Miss Scarlet, does this mean that you live in Tokyo, too?" asked Mrs. Green.

"Sure do." answered Miss Scarlet.

"Does anyone here not live in Tokyo?" asked Mrs. Peacock.

"I don't." said Professor Plum.

"Yes, but you work for the United Nations. That's a government job. And the rest of us all live in a government town. Anyone here not earn their living from the government in one way or another?" asked Mrs. Green.

Colonel Mustard stood up suddenly, throwing his napkin down onto the table and walked to Haruka who had been standing in the dining room listening to them all talk.

"Haruka, where's our host, and why have we been brought here?"

Before Haruka could say anything the doorbell rang. Haruka walked out of the dining room and into the hall, answering the door. Everyone sat quietly so them could hear what was going on.

"Ah! Good evening. You are eagerly awaited." said Haruka as she closed the door and locked it.

"You lockin' me in? I'll take the key." said a male voice.

"Over my dead body, sir. May I take your bag?"

"No. I'll leave it here 'til I need it."

"It contains evidence, I presume?"

"Surprises, my friend. That's what it contains--surprises!"

Haruka walked back into the dining followed by the new guest. He was a tall man dressed in a black suit with slicked back black hair.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Mr. Boddy." said Haruka.

"What are they all doin' here?" asked Mr. Boddy as he looked at everyone.

"Eating dinner. Do sit down, Mr. Boddy." said Haruka leading him to his chair.

"Thanks." said Mr. Boddy as he sat down.

Minako came out of the kitchen with a bowl of soup for Mr. Boddy.

"Nah, you can take that away, honey." said Mr. Boddy in a devilish voice.

Minako sated at him for a moment before turning around and going back into the kitchen. Mrs. Peacock hit the table angrily.

"Look. I demand to know what's going on. Now why have we all been dragged up to this horrible place?" she said angrily.

"Well. I believe we all received a letter. My letter says, "It will be to your advantage to be present on this date because a Mr. Boddy will bring to an end a certain long-standing confidential and painful financial liability." It is signed, "A friend." Said Haruka.

"I received a similar letter." said Mrs. Green.

"So did we, didn't we." said Miss. Scarlet looking towards Professor Plum.

"I also received a letter." said Mr. Boddy.

Minako came out of the kitchen yet again with the main meal for Mr. Boddy.

"No thanks, Minako. I just ate." said Mr. Boddy.

"Now, how did you know her name?" Mrs. Green asked him.

"We know each other. Don't we, dear?" Mr. Bossy said smoothly as he began putting his hand up Minako's skirt causing her to jerk away from him.

"Forgive my curiosity, Mr. Boddy, but did your letter say the same thing?" asked Haruka.

"No." Mr. Boddy answered simply.

"I see…can I interest any of you in fruit or dessert?" Haruka asked everyone.

She got no response.

"In that case, may I suggest we adjourn to the study for coffee and brandy, at which point I believe our unknown host will reveal his intentions."

The study was by far the most comfortable room so far. Decorated in subdued tan colors with several couches, a bookshelf, a table with drinks, and a desk. The guests entered and looked around for their host.

"Well, there's no one here." pointed out Mrs. Green/

"Please help yourself to brandy and be seated." said Haruka as she walked to the desk, picking up a manilla envelope from it. It read For Haruka Open AFTER DINNER. Haruka opened the envelope perusing the contents.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm instructed to you what you all have in common with each other. Unless you would care to do the honors, Mr. Boddy?" Haruka offered.

"Why me? They know who I am?" Mr. Boddy asked her.

"I don't think so. You've never identified yourself to them, I believe." countered Haruka.

Mr. Boddy stood suddenly.

"It's a hoax! I suggest we all leave." He said as he took off out the study door.

"I'm sorry, sir, you cannot leave this house!" yelled Haruka as she chased him.

Mr. Boddy went to the front door, followed closely by Haruka and the other guests.

"No? Who's gonna stop me?" asked Mr. Boddy as he tried to open the front door.

"There's no way out. All the windows have bars, all the doors are locked." Haruka said.

"This is an outrage! You can't hold us prisoner!" shouted Mr. Boddy.

The guests, in confusion, agreed.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please! Please return to the study. Everything will be explained." said Haruka calmly.

The guests filed unhappily back into the study. Mr. Boddy walked right past Haruka toward the rear of the hall.

"You too, Mr. Boddy." said Haruka.

Mr. Boddy started running.

"Other way!" shouted the blonde as she began chasing him.

The conservatory, a humid room, with plants all around. Three of the walls were brick, and the fourth was glass, leading to the outside. The rain pounded against the glass as Mr. Boddy ran in, picking up a brick and preparing to throw it through the glass when Haruka came through the doorway.

"You can't get out that way." said Haruka, sounding very sure of herself.

"Why not? It's only glass!" laughed Mr. Boddy.

Suddenly, a vicious Doberman jumped at the glass, barking and snarling. Mr. Boddy stared at the dog then dropped the brick.

The guests sat in the study waiting patiently as Haruka and Mr. Boddy came back in. Haruka took up her envelope again.

"Ladies and gentlemen, you all have one thing in common. You're all being blackmailed. For some considerable time, all of you have been paying what you can afford and, in some cases, more than you can afford to someone who threatens to expose you. And none of you know who's blackmailing you, do you?" Haruka questioned.


End file.
